What To Say (and What Not) To Your Friends Who Are Adopting

Note: This post is a work in progress. I'm posting it now because I want input from other adoptive parents and because I know it will never be complete.

Since I've begun this adoption process, I've learned a lot about people's misconceptions. At first when reading the blogs of adoptive parents, I thought they were overly sensitive. Now I'm just beginning to understand. I just keep trying to remind myself that people are not trying to be offensive, that they just are a little naive about the process.

So voila—this post describing the right and not-so-right things to say to adoptive parents. This post is for those of you who may find the subject of adoption awkward.

Here and There

My week in Ethiopia has given me much to be thankful about, namely

1. Tap water with pressure. Every day in America—and sometimes twice a day—I am relieved to step in to a steaming shower with water so pressurized that it feels like a massage. We don't recognize that many of the world's people lack clean drinking water, and I saw countless people hauling water who didn't have running water in the house. That's a daily chore in the rural areas of Ethiopia.

2. Toilet paper and sewer systems. Enough said.

Sleepwalking

This is what I woke up to this morning. A Mario Kart top bed sheet, crumpled and thrown down the stairs. I stared at it a moment, thinking, What in the world? before laughing at the thought of Elijah in his late-night sleepwalking, feeling the urge to hurl this unruly, untucked bed sheet downward into our living room.

We had awakened to light rap, rap, rapping (Sorry--English teacher inside joke) on our chamber/bedroom door to find Elijah sitting outside, mumbling gibberish. This has become a frequent spectacle at our home. (Kaylee has caught him on video, but I'm not quite mean enough to post that on my blog.)

His sleepwalking fog reminds me of what I consider one of the most confusing passages of the New Testament, Romans 7: 14-20: