Last night as I sat at the table eating an apple with Elijah, he looked up at me and said, "Mom, I can understand that plants make fruit, but what I really can't understand is how the flavor gets in there." Of course, I sat there stunned for a moment before I could even come up with the simple response that I didn't know, either. In fact, it's not just that I don't know the answer to that; I don't think I've even thought of the question before.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
My Worry Window
Last month I had the opportunity to visit one of my family's favorite vacation spots. This time, right up there on the fun-things-to-do agenda was water skiing. Taking pictures from the shore, my sister, brother-in-law, and I chatted as we watched our kids in the boat and on the skis. As my nephew fell into the water following his turn, my brother-in-law turned around and began to snicker and point. There in the window above us was my mom. As she stood there, eyebrows knit together, her worry about their safety was obvious.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Through Thick and Thin
Last week, according to major news stories, Pat Robertson claimed that if a person's spouse has Alzheimer's disease, divorce is acceptable. I am confident that he is wrong.
When my dad was 60 years old, he was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. Since Dad's mom and brother had previously died from the disease, the diagnosis was hardly a shock to us, yet no amount of preparation can prepare a family for what Alzheimer's does. Dad retired because of it, and he and my mom moved to Sioux Falls where he could be cared for more easily. Since she is younger by seven years, Mom continued (and still continues) to work.
When my dad was 60 years old, he was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. Since Dad's mom and brother had previously died from the disease, the diagnosis was hardly a shock to us, yet no amount of preparation can prepare a family for what Alzheimer's does. Dad retired because of it, and he and my mom moved to Sioux Falls where he could be cared for more easily. Since she is younger by seven years, Mom continued (and still continues) to work.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
My Road Rage Blessing
Have you ever driven somewhere only to realize that you only remember half the trip?
I used to drive 18 miles to work in Hawarden. On the way to and fro, my mind would get lost in my plans. Those 18 miles were an escape, a time to think. Unfortunately, I wasn't always thinking quite enough about driving.
One odd mile and a quarter-long stretch of road had two stop signs. These signs were in the middle of nowhere, just a place where various roads met up in an unusual configuration.
On this particular day, I noticed that a lady was trying to flag me down, and she was anything but happy with me. "Do you realize you just ran that stop sign?" she asked.
I had no idea at all. I rarely saw more than five cars on my way to work each morning, so evidently I was allowing myself to zone out while driving that particular stretch of lonesome road.
My mouth fell open. How to respond? I thought. After a moment, I told her no, I didn't realize I'd run the stop sign and then proceeded to offer profuse thanks for stopping me to tell me. It was her turn to let her jaw drop.
That woman (whose name I did not ask) could very well have saved my life or another person's life. I think we all know people who have died after running stop signs or have been T-boned by someone who has made that mistake. It had to take a little bravery on her part to stand up to me, someone whom she didn't know, and someone who probably could have responded in an entirely different way.
Unfortunately, it's not always that easy. It's much more convenient to act defiant and defensive, especially when someone holds me accountable for something that I know is true. I need to remember, though, that holding someone accountable in a loving way (and trust me, loving is the operative word) is loyal. It is true. It is just.
Being judgmental and holding someone accountable are two completely different things. Being judgmental is complaining about someone without giving him a chance to improve. Being judgmental makes forgiveness and reconciliation difficult. Accountability, on the other hand, shows the other person that you know he is capable of being better, of becoming a bigger person. Holding someone accountable is humbling both for the giver and the receiver.
Keep this mind next time someone who cares about you approaches you with the difficult task of holding you accountable. Remember that in doing so, he is considering you worthy of the personal cost.
I used to drive 18 miles to work in Hawarden. On the way to and fro, my mind would get lost in my plans. Those 18 miles were an escape, a time to think. Unfortunately, I wasn't always thinking quite enough about driving.
One odd mile and a quarter-long stretch of road had two stop signs. These signs were in the middle of nowhere, just a place where various roads met up in an unusual configuration.
On this particular day, I noticed that a lady was trying to flag me down, and she was anything but happy with me. "Do you realize you just ran that stop sign?" she asked.
I had no idea at all. I rarely saw more than five cars on my way to work each morning, so evidently I was allowing myself to zone out while driving that particular stretch of lonesome road.
My mouth fell open. How to respond? I thought. After a moment, I told her no, I didn't realize I'd run the stop sign and then proceeded to offer profuse thanks for stopping me to tell me. It was her turn to let her jaw drop.
That woman (whose name I did not ask) could very well have saved my life or another person's life. I think we all know people who have died after running stop signs or have been T-boned by someone who has made that mistake. It had to take a little bravery on her part to stand up to me, someone whom she didn't know, and someone who probably could have responded in an entirely different way.
Unfortunately, it's not always that easy. It's much more convenient to act defiant and defensive, especially when someone holds me accountable for something that I know is true. I need to remember, though, that holding someone accountable in a loving way (and trust me, loving is the operative word) is loyal. It is true. It is just.
Being judgmental and holding someone accountable are two completely different things. Being judgmental is complaining about someone without giving him a chance to improve. Being judgmental makes forgiveness and reconciliation difficult. Accountability, on the other hand, shows the other person that you know he is capable of being better, of becoming a bigger person. Holding someone accountable is humbling both for the giver and the receiver.
Keep this mind next time someone who cares about you approaches you with the difficult task of holding you accountable. Remember that in doing so, he is considering you worthy of the personal cost.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Eating What's Good for You
At age seven, my son is an incredibly fussy eater. Peanut butter sandwiches, strawberries, pancakes, chicken nuggets, grapes, raw carrots, french fries, and fresh bread are his favorites, but he refuses to eat baked potatoes, sweet corn and other cooked vegetables, noodles, soup, or casseroles.
Yes, I've spoiled him. Yes, it has to stop. While I've been complimented many times on what a kind boy I have, this is his weak spot.
Fussy eating affects his nutrition, but just as importantly, it affects his relationship with others. It's rude not to eat what is prepared for him. Most of all, expecting special meals teaches him that he deserves to be catered to, and that's just not okay.
We know that we have to change his habits for him because he will never choose to do so on his own. We've tried many things, from the two bite rule to the you-can't-have-anything-else-until-you-eat-that rule. Tonight my son is in bed and has had nothing since his after-school snack.1 I feel guilty, but I know that a little discomfort now will save a lot of frustration later.
Sometimes I, too, want what I want—well, just because I want it. Like my sweet but slightly ornery Elijah, I expect to be catered to in my own selfish ways. Sometimes I've prayed for things to change for no other reason than to make life easier for me. While I believe that God wants to hear from me every moment of every day, I do not believe that I can force God to provide for every prayer request.
He has a bigger, better plan.
Similar to a fussy eater, I want to choose my experiences. While moments of my life have tasted a little more like liver and onions than strawberry pie, I still have lessons to learn even from those days that aren't exactly what I ordered.
I can be thankful that I have a God who understands my needs more than I do.
1He finally got out of bed an hour later and ate everything on his plate. Success!
Yes, I've spoiled him. Yes, it has to stop. While I've been complimented many times on what a kind boy I have, this is his weak spot.
Fussy eating affects his nutrition, but just as importantly, it affects his relationship with others. It's rude not to eat what is prepared for him. Most of all, expecting special meals teaches him that he deserves to be catered to, and that's just not okay.
We know that we have to change his habits for him because he will never choose to do so on his own. We've tried many things, from the two bite rule to the you-can't-have-anything-else-until-you-eat-that rule. Tonight my son is in bed and has had nothing since his after-school snack.1 I feel guilty, but I know that a little discomfort now will save a lot of frustration later.
Sometimes I, too, want what I want—well, just because I want it. Like my sweet but slightly ornery Elijah, I expect to be catered to in my own selfish ways. Sometimes I've prayed for things to change for no other reason than to make life easier for me. While I believe that God wants to hear from me every moment of every day, I do not believe that I can force God to provide for every prayer request.
He has a bigger, better plan.
Similar to a fussy eater, I want to choose my experiences. While moments of my life have tasted a little more like liver and onions than strawberry pie, I still have lessons to learn even from those days that aren't exactly what I ordered.
I can be thankful that I have a God who understands my needs more than I do.
1He finally got out of bed an hour later and ate everything on his plate. Success!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The Author of It All
One of my first years of teaching, I assigned my freshmen to write book reports. One of the stipulations, I said, was that they had to include information about the authors. One freckle-faced freshman popped in to my room a few days later after school. "Mrs. V., I can't find any information about this author. I looked on the flap where you told us to, but there's nothing there." I took the book from her hands and turned it over. It was The Story of My Life by Helen Keller.It is one of the stories from teaching that I enjoy retelling; I love remembering our laughter after we realized how silly the question was. It reminds me, though, of what people say about God. How can God be here? Why doesn't He talk to me? How do you know He exists?
We have more than a book with his name in it. For me, all I have to do is look at the wonders of creation: the pureness of a blue sky, the majesty of mountains, the magic of plant growth, the abundance of life in the oceans, the love of a child. I look at those things and think, how can there not be a God?
We have His story and His creation. How much more convincing could we possibly need?
Monday, September 12, 2011
Advice from Friends
Some of my best lessons have come from my family members and friends. Today I'm not providing you with my own insight but the insights of those who have taught me much. I am only including initials so I don't embarrass anyone. I am firmly convinced that most of these people don't even realize that they've taught me something, so if you recognize your initials, thanks for being a positive example to me.
1. All you have to say is "no." H.Z.
2. No one is responsible for your happiness but you. N.V.
3. Sing...loud. D.T.
4. If you don't think you have time to help someone, think again. J.F.
5. Be generous in all you do. J.V.
6. Family first. R.G.
7. Forgive and then forgive again. C.V.
8. Have compassion especially on those who cannot defend themselves. B.B.
9. Keep it real. M.R.
10. If you say "yes" to one thing, remember that you are saying "no" to something or someone else. H.Z.
11. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. M.V.
12. Patience teaches more than irritation does. M.K.
13. Judge the sin, not the sinner. S.T.
14. Take time to giggle. E.V.
15. It really doesn't matter what others think of you as long as you know you're doing the right thing. K.V.
16. If it's not in your beliefs, don't make excuses. Just don't do it. W.E.
17. People trust you more if you're not perfect, either. A.R.
18. One well-placed comment is more humorous than a rehearsed joke. R.H.
19. Men can cook. J.F.
20. There are two things a person should never try to save money on: shoes and mattresses. J.T. (Okay, that was John Tesh, and he is not my friend.)
21. If someone asks you for the truth, tell it to him even if it hurts a little. G.V.
22. Sometimes the best thing a friend can do is listen. K.P.
1. All you have to say is "no." H.Z.
2. No one is responsible for your happiness but you. N.V.
3. Sing...loud. D.T.
4. If you don't think you have time to help someone, think again. J.F.
5. Be generous in all you do. J.V.
6. Family first. R.G.
7. Forgive and then forgive again. C.V.
8. Have compassion especially on those who cannot defend themselves. B.B.
9. Keep it real. M.R.
10. If you say "yes" to one thing, remember that you are saying "no" to something or someone else. H.Z.
11. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. M.V.
12. Patience teaches more than irritation does. M.K.
13. Judge the sin, not the sinner. S.T.
14. Take time to giggle. E.V.
15. It really doesn't matter what others think of you as long as you know you're doing the right thing. K.V.
16. If it's not in your beliefs, don't make excuses. Just don't do it. W.E.
17. People trust you more if you're not perfect, either. A.R.
18. One well-placed comment is more humorous than a rehearsed joke. R.H.
19. Men can cook. J.F.
20. There are two things a person should never try to save money on: shoes and mattresses. J.T. (Okay, that was John Tesh, and he is not my friend.)
21. If someone asks you for the truth, tell it to him even if it hurts a little. G.V.
22. Sometimes the best thing a friend can do is listen. K.P.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)