Yesterday Caleb moved back to his college dorm, and today I’m making the four-hour trek to deliver his car to him. I’ll admit that I’m feeling some trepidation as I begin this day. I haven't forgotten how I felt last year following freshman move-in day.
According to the story in 1 Kings 3, there was once a king named Solomon who made judgments on the disagreements between his people. When two women came to him, both claiming to be the mother of a baby, Solomon told the women that he would have the child cut in two, giving each woman half. Of course, the real mom would allow no such thing and quickly gave up her claim on the child, which resulted in Solomon’s ruling that she was the rightful parent.
I have no doubt that Solomon was a wise man blessed by God, but the one who intrigues me is the mother. How difficult it must have been for her to give up her rights to her baby no matter how much she knew that giving him up was necessary for his protection.
I question whether I can apply that same measure of love, allowing my children to grow up, make mistakes, and even experience success apart from me.
Letting go began the moment Caleb began to walk. It continued when we encouraged him to deal with playground squabbles himself and when, after delivering forgotten homework to the school for the umpteenth time, I told him that if he forgot again, I wouldn’t bail him out by dropping off his work. The steps were incremental, but the result of it all is starting to sink in.
Even though this process is hard—and likely harder on Caleb than it is on me—I know that relinquishing him to God’s plan is simply the right thing to do.
Caleb will always have not just a place in our home, but his place as a member of our family, and I will continue to feel that a part of my heart is missing when he is not here. I know, though, that by letting go of my son, I’m freeing him to meet his calling, wherever that may take him. Today I simply pray that he feels God’s presence and guidance on along the way.
