"Jerome, all my life—since I was a little girl—I knew I had two people to protect me. My dad and brother. And now I don't."
There was a moment of silence before Jerome quietly said, "But Tami, don't you realize that's my job now? I am here."
Jerome and I had been married almost 20 years, yet I had continued placing that responsibility on my dad and brother instead of on my husband.
Now, I've always considered myself an independent person. I became a teacher not only because I felt called to it but because I wanted to be able to stand on my own two feet and to have the ability to be the main breadwinner of the family should something happen to my husband. One of my biggest goals was not to be wealthy but to make enough money that we could survive, and I said to Jerome on a couple different occasions, "I really don't want to be some high-maintenance wife." I wanted to contribute in my own way.
Yet here I was seeking security and protection from all the unknowns: physical protection from creeps, yes, but even more importantly, emotional protection from people who just aren't very nice.
Perhaps I wasn't (and am not) as independent as I thought I was.
This month I'm completing the Old Testament for the first time. I've read bits and pieces in church and in study over the years, but this is the first time that I've committed to reading my Bible cover to cover.
I used to think of the Old Testament as dull lists of lineage and archaic laws. I didn't really think it mattered so much because I am a New Testament Christian who believes that Jesus came and that His grace and love replaces so much from the Old Testament. I'm learning, though, how rich and powerful and necessary that Old Testament is to our understanding of that grace.
You see, I don't think it's just women who want and need to be protected. God reminds all of us throughout the Old Testament that it is His job and desire to protect us:
"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." - Zephaniah 3: 17
"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says The Lord, who has compassion on you." - Isaiah 54: 10
And those not-so-nice people who sometimes cross our paths? God isn't too happy with them, but His judgement comes later. While there is nothing wrong with protecting ourselves, we are to be forgiving and gracious, praying that they come to know Jesus Christ the way we do, as our redeemer, the greatest protector of all.
By the way, no husbands were hurt in the writing of this blog.