Have you ever driven somewhere only to realize that you only remember half the trip?
I used to drive 18 miles to work in Hawarden. On the way to and fro, my mind would get lost in my plans. Those 18 miles were an escape, a time to think. Unfortunately, I wasn't always thinking quite enough about driving.
One odd mile and a quarter-long stretch of road had two stop signs. These signs were in the middle of nowhere, just a place where various roads met up in an unusual configuration.
On this particular day, I noticed that a lady was trying to flag me down, and she was anything but happy with me. "Do you realize you just ran that stop sign?" she asked.
I had no idea at all. I rarely saw more than five cars on my way to work each morning, so evidently I was allowing myself to zone out while driving that particular stretch of lonesome road.
My mouth fell open. How to respond? I thought. After a moment, I told her no, I didn't realize I'd run the stop sign and then proceeded to offer profuse thanks for stopping me to tell me. It was her turn to let her jaw drop.
That woman (whose name I did not ask) could very well have saved my life or another person's life. I think we all know people who have died after running stop signs or have been T-boned by someone who has made that mistake. It had to take a little bravery on her part to stand up to me, someone whom she didn't know, and someone who probably could have responded in an entirely different way.
Unfortunately, it's not always that easy. It's much more convenient to act defiant and defensive, especially when someone holds me accountable for something that I know is true. I need to remember, though, that holding someone accountable in a loving way (and trust me, loving is the operative word) is loyal. It is true. It is just.
Being judgmental and holding someone accountable are two completely different things. Being judgmental is complaining about someone without giving him a chance to improve. Being judgmental makes forgiveness and reconciliation difficult. Accountability, on the other hand, shows the other person that you know he is capable of being better, of becoming a bigger person. Holding someone accountable is humbling both for the giver and the receiver.
Keep this mind next time someone who cares about you approaches you with the difficult task of holding you accountable. Remember that in doing so, he is considering you worthy of the personal cost.
