My desire to blog started when I noticed over and over how many of my young teenage friends (mostly those I met through TEC weekends) were posting Bible verses, praise to God, and prayer requests. Though I knew from talking with them how many of them had strong relationships with God, it was (and is) inspirational to me to read Facebook status updates about their spiritual walks.That's when I realized that I have not been the transparent Christian that I need to be.
While my close friends know my deep struggles as well as my joys, I haven't spent enough of my life reflecting God's light to others. I sometimes get caught up in being the good northwest Iowa Christian woman. After all, I always thought that's what grown-up women were supposed to act like: all put together and perfect. Life is perfect after you come to know Jesus Christ. . . right?
Wrong. On some levels, the more I try to walk with God, the more difficult things have become. You see, I notice when I'm doing something wrong now. I catch myself—sometimes on time, sometimes too late. I'm still tempted to do wrong things. Quite frankly, some parts of life were easier when I didn't know better.
People have the mistaken idea that things automatically become simple when a person becomes a Christian. The older I get, though, the more questions I have. I do have a few more answers. More than that, I feel at peace not knowing everything. I feel the burden lifted because I have someone else carrying the load. The more I hand over to God, the more I trust Him, the lighter I feel. While I still try to control things that aren't mine to handle, I'm getting better, and that is what being on this is all about.
Handing it over. Letting it go. Trying to become better.
Instead of feeling judged by people because I've told more and more of my story, I've felt release and acceptance in knowing that people love me just the way I am. Don't get me wrong; I still have a few skeletons in my closet, and some of those things I will be unlikely to ever share. Some things are best kept among a few people and their Maker.
In the meantime, though, I'm trying to keep it real. I hope wherever you are in your journey, you'll join me in doing that. If you have burdens, will you let some of them go today? If you have heartaches you're bearing alone, will you tell someone? Moving on requires you to do just that. Are you ready?
