On Monday my 16-year-old son obtained his restricted driving permit. He has been driving with me for two years and back and forth to school for one year, so this transition should not be so difficult as it is. We have had all the appropriate discussions regarding how to act if he is pulled over by a police officer, how to get from one place to another, how to be conscious of others as he is walking through a parking lot.
Today this son of mine went to the Mission Impossible movie without me. Over the last months we have talked about appropriate and inappropriate movies, ratings systems, and--for goodness' sake--even the unhealthiness of movie popcorn, which we always get in a size large, lots of butter. After the movie he is heading to the mall where he intends to buy a pair of shoes with his own money. He called to verify how much was in his account as he was waiting for the movie to start. (Responsible, right?)
He is a good kid. He really is. But he is still a kid.
I am scared.
As a mom of teenagers, I run the risk of being over-protective. I have the means to be the mom-spy of mom-spies. I can verify location, spending, grades at any time of the day. I can even verify whether he brushed his teeth this morning. Or I could just require him to spend all his time with me. On the other hand, I can also be under-protective, and be blissfully unaware, confident my child makes all the right decisions. I do not know where the line is between the two.
If you were to press me, you would find that pride is part of my issue. Not only do I want my kids to make good decisions for their sake and for their future, but I want them to make good decisions so I have no reason to be embarrassed. That's a selfish but painful truth.
I will never forget one mom's comment the day of her son's suicide, saying she had tried to live a life with no regrets, and at that moment, she had the biggest regret of her life--the regret of not knowing. So I try to be all-knowing, all-present, and all-powerful. There's only one problem with that. I know only One who is all those things, and even He lets us make mistakes, then learn and turn from them.
I know what I need to do. I need to place all my kids at the feet of their Creator and let go a little. Today in my Bible time I read Ephesians 3: 16-19: "I pray that out of His glorious riches he may strengthen you with power so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Today I pray that my kids will grow closer and closer to Christ, the they will feel the Holy Spirit with them as their guide. I pray that I can let go just enough to let my kids make their own mistakes, but that when they make them, they will know just how deep and high and wide and long the love of Christ is. If they know that, I have done my job.
Today this son of mine went to the Mission Impossible movie without me. Over the last months we have talked about appropriate and inappropriate movies, ratings systems, and--for goodness' sake--even the unhealthiness of movie popcorn, which we always get in a size large, lots of butter. After the movie he is heading to the mall where he intends to buy a pair of shoes with his own money. He called to verify how much was in his account as he was waiting for the movie to start. (Responsible, right?)
He is a good kid. He really is. But he is still a kid.
I am scared.
As a mom of teenagers, I run the risk of being over-protective. I have the means to be the mom-spy of mom-spies. I can verify location, spending, grades at any time of the day. I can even verify whether he brushed his teeth this morning. Or I could just require him to spend all his time with me. On the other hand, I can also be under-protective, and be blissfully unaware, confident my child makes all the right decisions. I do not know where the line is between the two.
If you were to press me, you would find that pride is part of my issue. Not only do I want my kids to make good decisions for their sake and for their future, but I want them to make good decisions so I have no reason to be embarrassed. That's a selfish but painful truth.
I will never forget one mom's comment the day of her son's suicide, saying she had tried to live a life with no regrets, and at that moment, she had the biggest regret of her life--the regret of not knowing. So I try to be all-knowing, all-present, and all-powerful. There's only one problem with that. I know only One who is all those things, and even He lets us make mistakes, then learn and turn from them.
I know what I need to do. I need to place all my kids at the feet of their Creator and let go a little. Today in my Bible time I read Ephesians 3: 16-19: "I pray that out of His glorious riches he may strengthen you with power so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Today I pray that my kids will grow closer and closer to Christ, the they will feel the Holy Spirit with them as their guide. I pray that I can let go just enough to let my kids make their own mistakes, but that when they make them, they will know just how deep and high and wide and long the love of Christ is. If they know that, I have done my job.
